on my own...

you know...in life ..I have always had people to support me..my parents..my sister...my ex-boyfriend...my friends.......I have never made a go of it alone. I have never once just been by myself in a new place and made it work. Thats shocking..if I lost those people...(which some of them feel lost to me)...what would become of me? do the people in my life make me who I am? I know to a certain degree they do..and I am proud of the influences I have in my life..but does there come a point when it goes to far? I feel like I have no opinion's of my own...am I just following the lead of others and not setting a path for myself..others don't have to live my life..I do..so why then do I always look to others for approval and support?? I should be able to stand up and say with or without support this is what I want. I guess you would call this a lack of self-esteem. I see it more as a lack of self-disicpline. I am in so far that I don't even recognize the feeling in myself that says this is what I want...I don't know what I want because I can't even tell if what I am feeling is what i think it is. This probably sounds ridiculous to everyone else...HA !! there I go Again...wondering if what I am feeling is right and looking to others for support....I second guess myself on absoloutly everything..and I havn't a clue how to stop..i've gone back to my roots and still don't know who I am ..if I can't find who I am at my roots...then...where do I ever begin to look???