Housesitting

well for the next two weeks I am going to be housesitting in 16 mile. I will be looking after An adorable dog, Ashera , 3 horses and I don't know how many cats. It is a really nice house and I enjoy staying there. I do get lonely sometimes but For the first night I had friends stay with me so it was all right:) anyways lol i better go but if i am not around town much in the next two weeks you know why!!!(L)(L)

R.I.P (L) Heath Ledger (L)

recently Heath Ledger , a very VERY good actor, was found dead in his apartment. I find this incrediably sad. especially as he has a two year old daughter with ex wife Michelle Williams.

he is perhaps most famous for his role in Brokeback Mountain as one of the sexually confused cowboys. he recieved acadmey awards for his role as Ennis del Mar.

one of my favorite movies he starred in was The patriot. he played young Gabriel Martin. I like how he took a lot of emotional parts. it seemed as though he liked a challenge.

I also love his performance in A knights tale. he played a young determined kid determind to be a knight, sir william thatcher.

his last finished role that he described as "Stressful" was that of the joker in a remake of batman called "The Dark Knight"

Sadly , people think that his death is a result of an overdose. I however choose to believe (like his family does) that his death was an accident.

I believe that all that can be said is R.I.P

Life in general

Life in general is ok. My sister just left to head up north to dawson creek and i am going to miss her so much:( but i might get to go and see her for spring break:) My Mom also wants to take a trip to vancouver to look for grad dresses and maybe tour UBC on spring break too. I am looking forward to spring break.:) i also have a pretty busy month coming up too. I am probaly babysitting for my friends jon and michelle next week. and after that I am housesitting for two weeks at a place in 16 mile!! so I have quite the busy january coming up. also it will be the change of semester which i am really looking forward to at the end of January. I am ready for some new classes and a change of pace.

ANYHOW lol

life is ok and i hope to have wheels within a few weeks! (since i sold my sister my truck and i now get to buy my own car!)

Blue October --- Hate Me Lyrics

WOW!! this song is so sad:( ...it is amazing how true the lyrics in this song are. there are so many people in the world today that are fighting alcoholism. It is a major issue in Canada and throughout the entire world. It is Amazing how many people fight with this common battle everyday and how many innocent family members and friends are hurt. It's sad really. but people do beat it. and when they are over the worst of it ....they realize how important friends and family are to them. I hope I never loose sight of that, but if i do....I have confridence that friends and family will stand by me....even if I am letting them down. I hope I am always strong enough to be there for those I love.





BLUE OCTOBER LYRICS

"Hate Me"
(If you're sleeping are you dreaming
If your dreaming are you dreaming of me?
I can't believe you actually picked me.)

(”Hi Justin, this is your mother, and it's 2:33 on Monday afternoon.
I was just calling to see how you are doing.
You sounded really uptight last night.
It made me a little nervous, and a l... and... well... it made me nervous, it sounded like you were nervous,
too.
I just wanted to make sure you were really OK,
And wanted to see if you were checking in on your medication.
You know I love you, and...
Take care honey
I know you're under a lot of pressure.
See ya. Bye bye”)

I have to block out thoughts of you so I don’t lose my head
They crawl in like a cockroach leaving babies in my bed
Dropping little reels of tape to remind me that I’m alone
Playing movies in my head that make a porno feel like home
There's a burning in my pride, a nervous bleeding in my brain
An ounce of peace is all I want for you. Will you never call again?
And will you never say that you love me just to put it in my face?
And will you never try to reach me?
It is I that wanted space

Hate me today
Hate me tomorrow
Hate me for all the things I didn't do for you

Hate me in ways
Yeah ways hard to swallow
Hate me so you can finally see what’s good for you

I’m sober now for 3 whole months it’s one accomplishment that you helped me with
The one thing that always tore us apart is the one thing I won’t touch again
In a sick way I want to thank you for holding my head up late at night
While I was busy waging wars on myself, you were trying to stop the fight
You never doubted my warped opinions on things like suicidal hate
You made me compliment myself when it was way too hard to take
So I’ll drive so fucking far away that I never cross your mind
And do whatever it takes in your heart to leave me behind

Hate me today
Hate me tomorrow
Hate me for all the things I didn’t do for you

Hate me in ways
Yeah ways hard to swallow
Hate me so you can finally see what’s good for you

And with a sad heart I say bye to you and wave
Kicking shadows on the street for every mistake that I had made
And like a baby boy I never was a man
Until I saw your blue eyes cry and I held your face in my hand
And then I fell down yelling “Make it go away!”
Just make a smile come back and shine just like it used to be
And then she whispered “How can you do this to me?”

Hate me today
Hate me tomorrow
Hate me for all the things I didn’t do for you

Hate me in ways
Yeah ways hard to swallow
Hate me so you can finally see what’s good for you
For you
For you
For you

[Children voices:]
(If you're sleeping, are you dreaming,
if you're dreaming are you dreaming of me.
I can't believe you actually picked me)

BREAKING DOWN!!!

well lol

i was on my way home from a weekend in kamloops and i was driving my mom's car. well generally I would say my mom's car was more reliable than my truck. well apprently not lol. Driving along and all of a sudden there is steam coming out of the hood. great. I am not even halfway home by this point. This being the first time ever breaking down I did what any normal 18 year old that is not mechanically inclined would do. called my dad! After that my mom came and picked me up and she called BCAA. we got it towed to clinton. and the good news??? I was ONLY half an hour late for work at the cordial! lol so we got a call a day or so later and they said that it was simple and easily fixed. so after school I walked down and picked it up. started driving home and i thought to myself it's a little chilly. so The heat going full blast I head home. 5 minites later I put my hand to the vent and feel only cold air blowing. huh , wierd..... I keep driving none the less and hope it will be warmer at home in the house. just as I come in sight of the painted hills right before 16 mile I see a familar sight. more steam!!! uuuggg not again i think to my self. I pull over and sure enough my tempature gage reads HOT! great. I check my purse for my cell phone to yes , call mommy and Daddy.and SURPRISE SURPRISE no cell phone. ok so I will walk to a house. look around....can't see any houses quite yet. ok so i will wait for some nice , good citizen to stop and assist me right?? well you would not believe how many people simply blew by me. I could just see what was going through thier head. "SUCKS TO BE YOU!" oh well...THANKS A LOT PEOPLE! finally someone stops and asks if i am ok. I thank them and borrow a cell phone to call home. my sister and the Tow truck soon arrive. shivering but none the worse for wear, I explain what happened. (again.) so we learn later on that the head gasget has gone and that it is not so simple to repair. so in otherwords my mom is out of a car for awhile. and next time SHE will be picking it up from the shop!!! lol

happy happy happy.....

lol well life is getting better:):):):)

i guess lol

my sister is home for christmas and i am looking forward to christmas. hoping to have a good time:):) so .....lol ......M*E*R*R*Y C*H*R*I*S*T*M*A*S !!!!

in the spirt of christmas I thought I would put a few cute christmas pics up and My favorite Christmas song:):):)

Once upon a December!

Dancing bears,

Painted wings

Things I almost remember

And a song someone sings

Once upon a December

Someone holds me safe and warm

Horses prance through a silver storm

Figures dancing gracefully

Across my memory...

Far away, long ago

Glowing dim as an ember,

Things my heart used to know,

Once upon a December

Someone holds me safe and warm

Horses prance through a silver storm

Figures dancing gracefully

Across my memory...

Far away, long ago

Glowing dim as an ember,

Things my heart used to know,

Things it yearns to remember...

And a song someone sings

Once upon a December

cute song......wish it were True lol

this song is wow......made me almost cry. this is one of my songs now. This is my sad song now. whenever i am down i listen to this song. somehow it makes me feel better. It makes me feel like one day things will change. and one day things will be diffrent. better.




Hedley - For The Nights I Can't Remember lyrics

[Verse 1:]I see it in the way you would do
When no one else could ever get through
Holding back till I come around
Time and time again you wait for me to come in
And did you really look my way? Cuz no one coulda seen this coming
I would never let you down
If I was running backwards in full time
[Bridge:]So I can and I will and you'll see your hero come running
Over and over tonight

[Chorus:]And I do wanna love you
If you see me running back
And I do wanna try
Because if falling for you girl is crazy
Then I'm going out of my mind
So hold back your tears this time

[Verse 2:]Me, I'm used to being tired and bloody
But you believed that I could be somebody
You put your world on hold for me
Gave away to follow failure through the fire
I need you to know I will
Believe me girl I'm so tired of running
I just wanna hold your hand
Stare at you like you've got everything I need
[Bridge:]And I can so I will and you'll see your hero come running
Over and over tonight

[Chorus:]And I do wanna love you
If you see me running back
And I do wanna try
Because if falling for you girl is crazy
Then I'm going out of my mind
So hold back your tears this time

[Verse 3:]And what if I never said to you I was dynamite
And what if I never told you I'm afraid to cry
What if I never let you down
And said I'm sorry for the nights I can't remember
What if I never said to you I would try
Yeah Yeah Yeaahh
[Chorus:]And I do wanna love you
(If you see me running back)
And I do wanna try
Because if falling for you girl is crazy
Then I'm going out of my mind
So hold back your tears this time
[Repeat Chorus]
Hold back your tears this time
Ooooh Ooooh